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An optimist sees the glass half full; a pessimist sees only a remote chance that a carjacker will return his car with a full tank of gas.

I give cash rebates for multiple orgasms.

I caught the void fondling the abyss.

Do we need more gun control? More guns? More target gun control? With the Sandy Hook shooting fresh in our memories how can we make sure that this doesn't happen again? Arm teachers? Ban all guns? Watch the newest Meme Factory episode and find out, with just a tad of satire mixed in. Get Smart Fast. Want to see more of the Meme Factory? Check us out on; Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/memefactoryboobtube Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/channels/thememefactory Twitter: http://twitter.com/The_MemeFactory Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheMemeFactory Web: http://www.thememefactory.com And our Podcast at http://ustream.tv/user/Veni_vidivici Or on iTunes at the Meme Factory Podcast http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/meme-factory-podcast/id528253077 Check out my personal nonsense too at http://curioussatire.tumblr.com and http://twitter.com/veni_vidivici Thanks for watching everybody! See you on the wire

If you think the arrival of the fall season brings an end to your family’s summer fitness and nutrition routine, think again! This is the perfect time for everyone to re-energize and get a kick start on fun activities, seasonal recipes, health and nutrition. Chef and nationally recognized nutrition and lifestyle expert Kathleen Daelemans is available to provide the latest trends in fitness, food and nutrition. She will also discuss her no nonsense approach to help get the whole family back on the right health track this fall. Plus, she will also provide tools to help families keep up with their routines as the weather gets colder.

In this world, few things genuinely EARN one's attention in quite the way an orgasm does.

Corporate Team Players at Work

Due to the unrelenting and irrevocable nature of man's inhumanity to man, all new construction on the evolutionary curve is hereby suspended pending further notice.

The less the chance of salvation, the greater the need to root for a snowball in hell.

The validity of my urine test is in question, pending the outcome of my urine tester's urine test

There is some question as to the deterrent effect of eternal damnation.

In a healthy sexual relationship, good posture is left at the bedroom door