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Sandy's Trauma and Beginning of Grief
Every One of us go Through Grief
OK, so I was on this journey – you can imagine. I loved the journey. And then, the next thing that happened was that tragedy in my life whereby my 3 daughters and their friend were murdered. I want to tell you about my journey of grief during this time. There may be some things there that can help. There are certainly some positive aspects that come out of it, so I’ll tell you about my journey of grief … and you know what? Every one of us here are going to have to go through grief.
Learning Through Adversity
Maybe many of us have already been through grief, and there’s going to be more. We’re all going to go through some adversity at some time. The key thing out of adversity and out of trauma is learning. What is there that you can learn from this event, because you know, those learning experiences are experiences for our soul and it’s the soul that needs the experience.
I’m so Glad I Spoke to my Girls That Night
So, Jenny and Kirsty, they were twins at 19 and Lexie, she was 16 – the next day. And the date was 23rd January 1987. They were living with their mum in the northern Sydney suburb of Pymble and a friend of theirs, Lisa was there as well, so there were 4 of them in the house. I was living about 5 kilometres away in Lindfield, married to Sandra and at that time we had a little 5 year old girl, Lara and a little 3 year old boy, Ian. At about 7 o’clock that Friday night I rang and spoke to Lexie and also spoke to Jenny and Kirsty and I tell you, the mirth and joy in that household was fantastic. They were all preparing to go camping for the Australia Day long weekend. And we taught them about camping, so I was really pleased about that. They were going to be joined by a group of friends to go camping. In retrospect I am so glad I was able to speak to the girls at that time, because at 10 past 9 that night Richard Madrell arrived at the door and professed his love for Jenny who of course had not had anything to do with him for 12 months and all of them wanted to keep him away with their mother even trying unsuccessful to take out an AVO on him. But he arrived at the door and shot her. He then shot Kirsty, then Lisa and then shot Lexie. All over in ten minutes.
My First Reaction
The police hammered on my door at about 2 o’clock in the morning and told me what had happened. My first reaction was that this was impossible … I mean I had only spoken to them several hours earlier. For me it was complete disbelief and I questioned about being shot with a shotgun as I knew something about guns from the army. I questioned the fact that it must have been impossible because with a shotgun you have to load it, fire and then re-load it, re-load it again …. Surely one or two of them are going to be able to get away. Surely not all 4 of them, not all 3 of my girls.
I Still Couldn’t Believe it.
On the way to their home in the police car I was still arguing with the police and I was asking if they had seen their bodies. “Oh, so you haven’t seen their bodies … you haven’t actually been there …. You’ve only been told about this over the radio … so you don’t really know this for sure.” Always thinking and hoping that it’s not true.
My Denial Phase
And then a little bit of doubt would come in and it would be like this: “God, how could you let this happen. No, no no, you haven’t let it happen. But …. If you have … what have the girls done? What have they done to deserve this for goodness sake? There is no God.” And so that’s where my denial phase started.
By Sandy MacGregor – http://www.selfimprovementdeals.com
See it on Video – 09 of 16 Sandy's Trauma and Beginning of Grief
Next Video – 10 Hatred Anger and Revenge Can Become Habits During Grief
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSUgHdmMxvc[EXTRACT]
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We Learn a Lot From Our Children
The other thing I had was meditation as taught to me by my young son Andrew – wow, can’t we learn a lot from our children. Andrew taught me meditation, and I was meditating – endeavouring to get some sort of peace, some sort of clarity … that sort of thing and I knew it was good for relaxation, stress release, anxiousness and all that sort of thing.
The Greatest Wake Up Call
So I already knew all of that, so I did it. And you know what? I got the greatest wake up call that you could ever get. It was like a whack across the head … and this was it: “Hey, if you persist in being hateful, angry and vengeful … then you’re going to end up like that! Wow! In other word, if I talked to myself 65,000 times a day, then I am going to be another victim … and who has done it to me? Me … haven’t I. I’ve done it to myself.
By Sandy MacGregor – http://www.selfimprovementdeals.com
See it on Video – 12 of 16 A Wake-Up Call - Talking to Yourself Negatively
Next Video – 13 Asking the Wrong Question Can Lead to Guilt, Blame and Judgements
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD8S0QmMOuQ[EXTRACT]
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Saying
no to domestic violence mentally and physically as well. A great video
by KC Jockey acting and demonstrating as well as singing a song of the
life of a man mentally and physically abusing his girlfriend.
Controlling in all aspects and all. A girl getting free and living life
to her fullest ability and being able to be successful. This video was
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there own use and purposes to get over in life. SAY NO TO DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE
National blood stocks have fallen by 7% over the jubilee weekend according to latest figures from NHS Blood and Transplant (NHSBT) which today launches its annual awareness campaign, National Blood Week, to urge the public to donate blood.
During the National Blood Week recruitment drive additional appointments have been created and selected blood donor sessions have extended opening hours to give donors more flexibility to schedule a visit. Regional recruitment events will also be driving awareness and enabling people to sign up.
To launch the 2012 National Blood Week, Made In Chelsea’s Rosie Fortescue has rolled her sleeves up to recreate the heroic ‘Rosie the Riveter’ WWII poster and issue a rallying cry for new and existing blood donors to come forward. Rosie Fortescue, who shares her name with the 1940s poster girl, said: “This woman clearly knew how to get things done, and I feel honoured to become a modern day campaigner for the national blood stock build. Blood supplies are vital to the health service and every unit of blood can save or improve the lives of up to three people.”
To view Multimedia News Release, go to http://www.multivu.com/mnr/56548-nhs-blood-transplant
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Girl: I\\\'ve been wondering… where do websites come from?
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Girl: But how do they do it?
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Girl: Oh, now I understand! Is that how babies are made too?
