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In a healthy sexual relationship, good posture is left at the bedroom door

Don\'t do the crime if you can\'t do the community service.

The validity of my urine test is in question, pending the outcome of my urine tester's urine test

Due to the unrelenting and irrevocable nature of man's inhumanity to man, all new construction on the evolutionary curve is hereby suspended pending further notice.

I favor expansion of search and seizure laws to protect information inadvertently gained through cat-scans.

I refuse to drink with a crumbling civilization.

There is some question as to the deterrent effect of eternal damnation.

I caught the void fondling the abyss.

The less the chance of salvation, the greater the need to root for a snowball in hell.

When properly compacted, an amazing number of repressed feelings can be successfully stored in the average-sized subconscious.

An optimist sees the glass half full; a pessimist sees only a remote chance that a carjacker will return his car with a full tank of gas.

A friend in need is a fiend indeed.